Pookie is looking absolutely fire

The GIST: Conspiracy theory be damned, the No. 3 Kansas City Chiefs and No. 1 San Francisco 49ers are Super Bowl bound following yesterday’s respective American Football Conference (AFC) and National Football Conference (NFC) championship game wins. What happens in Vegas…

AFC — Kansas City Chiefs defeat Baltimore Ravens 17–10: Defending champs Kansas City will compete for the Vince Lombardi Trophy for the fourth time in the last five years after topping Super Bowl favorite, the No. 1 Baltimore Ravens.

• KC tight end Travis Kelce entered his reputation era, hauling in a touchdown and becoming the all-time postseason receptions leader, but Baltimore beat themselves in this one, making costly penalties and turnovers down the stretch.

NFC — San Francisco 49ers come back to beat the Detroit Lions 34–31: Call an ambulance, but not for them. Down by 17 points at halftime, the 49ers overcame that deficit (the largest in NFC Conference Championship game history) in a mere eight minutes to even things up and ultimately halt the Lions’ underdog run.

• Niners quarterback Brock “Mr. Irrelevant” Purdy once again put himself firmly in the conversation, using his arm and his legs to lead the historic comeback effort. So smooth.

Early Super Bowl preview: KC and SF never met in the regular season, but this is a rematch of Super Bowl LIV — which KC won 31–20 behind a 21-point fourth quarter. Though the 49ers will be making their second Super Bowl appearance in the last five years, Patrick Mahomes and KC still have the overwhelming advantage of experience.

• Will KC become the first team since the 2003–04 New England Patriots to repeat as champs? Or will SF revive their dynasty and lift the Lombardi Trophy for the first time since the 1994 season? We’ll have to wait until February 11th to find out.

The GIST: One epic fortnight Down Under later, a defending champ retained their Australian Open crown, while a rising star clinched their first-ever Grand Slam title. Crikey!

Women’s: For the second time in as many years, No. 2 Aryna Sabalenka won the Australian Open, defeating No. 12 Zheng Qinwen in speedy straight sets early Saturday morning. The first back-to-back women’s tourney winner since 2013, Sabalenka showcased her signature power to break Zheng’s typically punishing serve.

• Sabalenka didn’t drop a single set Down Under and has now made it to at least the semifinals of every Grand Slam since the 2022 U.S. Open.

• And even better, with this win, Sabalenka fulfilled a dream she shared with her late father: to win a couple Slams by age 25. Pass the tissues.

Men’s: No. 4 Jannik Sinner launched an incredible comeback to claim his first major title yesterday morning, overcoming nerves and a two-set deficit to top No. 3 Daniil Medvedev. And Sunday’s match wasn’t just Sinner’s maiden Slam win. It also marked the first Australian Open final without any of the “Big 3” — Novak Djokovic, Rafael Nadal, and Roger Federer — since 2005.

• It’s a milestone moment that could signal a generational shift in the men’s game, though the Joker, who Sinner defeated in the semis, insists he’s far from done.

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