The Group Chat: Double air kiss it goodbye
From The GIST (hi@thegistsports.com)
🥌 Cheating allegations rock Team Canada (again)
The last thing Team Canada needed heading into these Olympics was another cheating scandal. But on Friday the 13th, Canada and Sweden men’s curling teams were facing off in round-robin play when Sweden’s Oskar Eriksson alleged that Canada’s Marc Kennedy touched the curling stone after it was released. Known as double-touching, this is a big no-no.
- Kennedy was not happy, forcefully and explicitly insisting he’d done nothing wrong. Since World Curling doesn’t use video replay, no action was taken during the game, and Canada went on to win 8–6.
Still, the damage was done. Curling is a famously honor-bound sport, and Kennedy’s expletive-heavy response has painted the team — and a country that’s historically dominated this sport — in a bad light. Making things even worse, the Canadian women’s curling team had a stone removed for this same infraction the following day.
Whatever side of the hog line you fall on this, there’s no denying it’s the most memed moment in curling history. And while it may be just BoopGate to most people, for Canadians who love this sport, it hurts.
🏒 Catch me if you can
A Slovakian hockey fan visited Milan to watch his men’s national team, but instead of catching their opening game against Finland, he’s now behind bars. After 16 years on the run, an automatic ping to Italian military police after his check-in at a campsite near Milan proved to be his undoing. Talk about risking it all for the love of the game.
- The 44-year-old man was wanted for a series of thefts he committed in Italy in 2010. He now has 11 months and 7 days in prison to think about how he should’ve paid for that streaming subscription and watched the hockey game at home.
🎿 Not the average skincare routine
Hyaluronic acid is a staple in most skincare routines, but this next controversy has nothing to do with moisturizer. Prior to the games, a German newspaper reported that men’s ski jumpers were injecting hyaluronic acid into their penises before their suit measurements for a competitive advantage. So many questions.
- Much like dermal filler for more pronounced cheekbones or plumper lips, taking a couple milliliters of hyaluronic acid straight to the shaft increases crotch height, thus increasing the fabric surface area of their skintight suits — which, it turns out, is a BFD.
A scientific journal stated that a change of two centimeters in a bodysuit can add nearly six extra meters (!!!) to the total length of a jump, therefore: bigger penis, more fabric, longer jump. Science.
- The International Ski and Snowboard Federation denied these claims, saying there’s no evidence that athletes have used this method to gain an advantage. One pot-stirring plastic surgeon says otherwise.
