The Group Chat: Written in the stars

We’re already one game into the WNBA Finals, with either the Las Vegas Aces or the Phoenix Mercury destined to hoist the trophy. And even though the Aces took Friday’s Game 1, there’s no way to predict who will win this best-of-seven series…or is there?

• Astrology girlies know that the distribution of Zodiac signs can make or break the team dynamic, so today, we’re figuring out which squad will win the ’ship based on their astrological compatibility. It’s written in the stars.

🔢 The methodology

First thing’s first: It’s time for a crash course in astrology. Each of the 12 Zodiac signs is associated with a personality trait — Geminis are curious, Capricorns are ambitious, and so on. They’re categorized into fire, air, water, and earth signs.

• Fire signs tend to be passionate and bold; air signs are intellectual and social; water signs are emotional and intuitive; and earth signs are grounded and practical. Fire and air signs complement one another, just as earth and water signs do.

We went deep to determine how players’ signs might affect the outcome of the series. If The GIST were a spreadsheet, it would be this one.

🪐 Phoenix’s Astrological Profile

The Mercury are all about balance — their 12-woman roster features all but three of the Zodiac signs. They’re rocking four fire signs, three earth signs, three air signs, and two water signs, emblematic of their full-team approach.

• Their starting five are especially well-balanced, with all four categories represented. They also have a double dose of groundedness thanks to earth signs Kahleah Copper (Virgo) and Satou Sabally (Taurus).

The social media account NBA Research and Development Department dove into how Mercury (the planet) affects the Mercury (the team). The result: The franchise consistently overperforms when their namesake planet is in retrograde, a huge advantage considering the phase causes communication issues and chaos for almost everyone else.

• However, Phoenix will be without their planetary boost: Mercury won’t be in retrograde until November 9th. The gals are on their own for this one.

What does this dynamic mean? That the Mercury are sturdy AF and built to go the distance. If this series goes to six or seven games, Phoenix will have the upper hand thanks to their balance in personalities. However, they’ll need to lean hard on their fire signs to bring the intensity a Finals run requires.

• Passionate leader, perennial MVP candidate, and legendary trash-talker Alyssa Thomas is the squad’s resident Aries. Another fire sign on the squad? Her teammate and fiancée, DeWanna Bonner (Leo). One of those things that just makes sense.

♠️ Las Vegas’ Astrological Profile

Someone call the Jonas Brothers (again), because the Aces are burnin’ up: Their 11-woman roster includes seven fire signs, five of whom are Leos. Holy smokes.

• Fire signs are known for their passion and confidence, which tracks for a team famous for its on-court intensity.

The player at the center of it all? That’s MVP A’ja Wilson, whose competitive nature certainly comes through with her Leo sun. As she goes, the Aces go — and boy, does she go.

• For a roster that so heavily favors fire signs, the starting five is surprisingly balanced: Wilson and NaLyssa Smith bring their Leo leadership, while Pisces Kierstan Bell (water), Libra Chelsea Gray (air), and Virgo Jackie Young (earth) round out the A team.

• Young’s grounded earth sign energy has been particularly critical: She’s been consistent all postseason, while her teammates’ performance has been more unpredictable.

Notably, one of Leo’s most closely aligned signs is Libra — aka A’ja and the Point Gawd herself, Chelsea Gray. When this dynamic duo is at their best, the Aces are near-unstoppable.

• Vegas’ abundance of fire signs could fuel them to a hot start and a dominant run. But this late in the season, there’s a real risk of tensions boiling over. It’ll fall to head coach Becky Hammon, an emotional Pisces, to capture the passion and use it for good.

Considering Friday’s Game 1 dub, the stars say the Aces are destined for confetti showers. A team with this much fire will come in hot, and the Mercury might struggle to match their intensity. Hey, maybe if the Finals started after November 9th, things would be different.

• But even if the stars can’t accurately predict the outcome, they did get one thing right: The matchup between A’ja Wilson (Leo) and Alyssa Thomas (Aries), two competitive fire signs, will be absolute cinema.

• Game 2 tips off today at 3 p.m. ET (ABC in the U.S., Sportsnet in Canada), and we don’t need astrology to tell us that we will be absolutely sat. LFG.