True to form, the first two weeks of the men’s soccer season have been utter pandemonium.

The Royal Spanish Football Federation (RFEF) finally fired embattled Spanish women’s national team coach Jorge Vilda yesterday, bringing his tumultuous tenure to an end.

Embattled Royal Spanish Soccer Federation (RFEF) president Luis Rubiales remains in power despite additional public denouncements of him forcibly kissing Spanish women’s national team star Jenni Hermoso at their WWC trophy presentation.

Just over a week after forcibly kissing player Jenni Hermoso after Spain’s 2023 FIFA Women’s World Cup win, calls for Royal Spanish Football Federation (RFEF) president Luis Rubiales to resign continue to grow louder by the day.

From intrastate rivals ousting each others’ foes to unranked conquerors to epic golazos, here’s everything you need to know about yesterday’s women’s and men’s non-conference footy.

On Thursday, Mercury 13, a newly formed company with a $100M women’s soccer investment fund, announced its first acquisition will be England’s second-division women’s team Lewes FC.

Every twist and turn of this saga has brought new batsh!t details, so here’s a timeline of what’s gone down over the last few days.

While Rubiales refuses to step down, players across the soccer world are standing strong with Hermoso, unifying across gender lines and leagues in solidarity.

Royal Spanish Football Federation (RFEF) president Luis Rubiales announced early this morning that he is not stepping down, insteading vowing to fight for his post.

While we should be focused on celebrating the record viewership numbers rolling in from the 2023 FIFA Women’s World Cup (WWC), instead, we unfortunately have to discuss Royal Spanish Football Federation president Luis Rubiales forcibly kissing Spain’s star player, Jennifer Hermoso, during her team’s WWC win celebration on Sunday.

FIFA Women's World Cup by the numbers

As mentioned, the men’s 2023 season takes the pitch with a full slate tomorrow, so brush up with our handy soccer guide, then prep for another upset-filled roller-coaster year.